One of the first steps in mediation is for the parties to let off steam. Until they do that, it is difficult for them to begin working towards resolution of their conflict.

Early on, I ask the parties to identify what they hope to accomplish through the mediation process. See how I help them clarify their goals so that they can achieve the desired outcome.

In order to promote understanding of each other, I assist the parties in learning how to listen effectively.

Often, there is a disconnect between what one party intends and what the other perceives. By assisting the parties in learning how to be clear in their communications, confusion or misinterpretation can be prevented.

To resolve conflict or prevent it in the future necessitates that the parties learn different ways of communicating so as to achieve a different outcome. See how I help the parties have a conversation differently.

The parties to a mediation want to share information and know that they have been heard. By validating, I show them that I am paying close attention to what they are saying and demonstrate that I understand the information and the feelings associated.

It is critical in mediation that the parties be able to relate to each other’s experiences and feelings. In other words, to empathize. I ask them to put themselves in the shoes of one another to gain insight and help resolve conflict.

When one is empowered, he or she is confident to advocate on his or her own behalf. This occurs when a party is able to speak freely and unimpeded about thoughts and feelings around conflict. During the mediation, I assist the parties in developing the ability to assert interests and needs so that they can be addressed and met.

To resolve conflict, each party needs to recognize his or her part in causing or contributing to the conflict.

Trust is having the confidence that someone will follow through on what he or she says. Trust is the demonstration of good faith in following through on what he or she says. Through mediation, the mediator helps the parties build trust in the words or actions of someone with whom they are in conflict.

After the parties have completely processed the issues that caused them conflict and brainstormed possible solutions, they are ready to make some commitments to resolve their conflict.