In order to promote trust and understanding between people in conflict, I want to create a climate where the parties feel at ease and free to discuss the issues that bring them to mediation. This can only be accomplished when a party is able to speak without being interrupted, judged or told what to do. It involves encouraging respect for the speaker, allowing him or her to share as much information as possible, including thoughts and feelings. When I ask for clarification, and reflect back and summarize what I have heard, the speaker is empowered to give details, impressions, and interpretations that, in turn, will aid in comprehension and ultimate resolution of the conflict.
For example, it is frequently the case when there is conflict in the workplace, for the coworkers or the supervisor and subordinate involved in the conflict to be separated and told not to talk to one another. Not only does this often lead to a festering of the problem when the parties are prohibited from interacting and attempting to discuss the situation, but it also disempowers them from addressing and resolving the issues. In treating the parties this way, they are deprived of the agency to control what is happening to them.
In mediation, I inspire or motivate the parties to freely deliberate, examine and explore their own actions and those of the other, thereby resulting in their empowerment to speak and act in their own interests.